Revelations and Musings

1 to 2:1 into 2.

2010-07-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

This one kinda cuts a little on us judgmental Christian folk.

Romans 1:16-2:8

¹⁶ For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile.^{g]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[g]} ¹⁷ This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.”^{h]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[h]}

God’s Anger at Sin

¹⁸ But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.^{i]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[i]} ¹⁹ They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them.²⁰ For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

²¹ Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. ²² Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. ²³ And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

²⁴ So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. ²⁵ They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. ²⁶ That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. ²⁷ And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

²⁸ Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. ²⁹ Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. ³⁰ They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. ³¹ They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. ³² They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

¹ You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. ² And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. ³ Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things? ⁴ Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

⁵ But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. ⁶ He will judge everyone according to what they have done. ⁷ He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers.⁸ But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness.

Unify

2010-05-30T04:36:00.000-07:00

I think that is why I love You so much-never once have You broken my heart. Never once have You let me down. Never once have You left me. Never once have You been selfish. You're so different from everyone else.

I feel as if though I've had some major things backwards this whole time. You've illuminated the darkness of my heart. Finish this project that You've begun in me.

Teach me to love my brothers and sisters. Teach me the place each person has and should have in my heart. Teach me to esteem my brother and sister higher than myself, and higher than those who want nothing to do with You or Your kingdom-for this is why I am here. To hold those who care nothing of You higher than those who have laid down their lives for You... is extremely off, in the least.

Unify Your body. Start with me... Establish Your kingdom in this place as it is in heaven.

Sis.

2010-05-16T13:03:00.001-07:00

I miss my sister.

But that's ok. Cause I know what Jesus told me. And I'd die waiting if I had to.

I can't wait to read this book. It's been interesting so far.

Least Expected

2010-03-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

When you're going through a lot, just one word from someone can strengthen you so much. Think about it. So many times I've been bummed out and one word came my way and it shifted everything I was feeling on the inside.

There he was. He was one of those rough guys. You know, the ones that no one wants anything to do with because he was BAD news. Actually, that's quite an understatement. He was a theif and he was a murderer. He was the worst of all criminals, sentenced to the most inhuman, torturous, criminal punishment the world has ever known.

Then, there was this other guy. He had been accused of so many things falsely yet was completely innocent. Completely. All of his friends had forsaken him. They were afraid to be associated with him. They did not want to die that death with him. Even his closest and best friends ran. Abondoned. Betrayed. He was thrown together with the worst of the worst to die an excruciating death.

And at the climax of the innocent man's suffering, at the climax of his pain, at the climax of his betrayal, there was a man who looked at him and said, "I know you're innocent. I know you are who you say you are. I just ask that you'd remember me in your kingdom..."

And Jesus looked at the theif on the cross next to him. Can you imagine how his heart was touched by the theif? Can you imagine how much that meant to him? He knew the man was sincere. In the moment that everything was weighing on him so heavily, this man offered compassion to the Compassionate One who was dying for the sin of the world.

I can't wait to meet the nab that spoke those words to my Jesus...

Would I Be A Moron?

2010-03-17T11:06:00.001-07:00

One day I was sitting in the living room with three friends. It was starting to get dark. I didn't really feel like getting up yet, but when I did get up, I went and turned on the lamp sitting on the table. It was nice. The room was all lit up. The lamp did what it was supposed to do. We could see. We weren't tripping on stuff or stubbing toes on the coffee table. So then I went and put a big bucket over the lamp and it was dark again, because I covered it up. I went to go sit back down, and sure enough, tripped on the rug where the corner was sticking up. Darn corner. If it hadn't of been there, I wouldn't have tripped on it. What the heck. Oh, and then, I forget I had left a pencil on the couch, and I plopped down right on top of it. Thankfully, my hand landed on it, and I only have led stuck in my palm. My friend got up to take her drink into the kitchen, and she ran into the coffee table on the way and spilled juice all over the carpet. We couldn't see to clean it up. So now, the carpet is stained... and it's gonna take a lot more work to get that cleaned up!

Ok. So obviously, this isn't a literal story. But wow. Look at all of the problems that happened all because we couldn't see. Who's bright idea was it to put a bucket over the top of a lamp anyway?

Matthew 5:14-16:

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." - Yeshua, the Christ, the Word of God.

Observant?

2010-03-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

Humm... You can really find out a lot about people by being observant. If you watch how they act and what they say and do close enough, you can find out a ton of information.

I think this is a good skill to have. Observation. I mean, you can learn a lot if you just pay attention.

Jesus in a Nutshell

2010-02-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

Ok...

In the beginning, He was there with God, and was God. All things were created for Him, by Him, for His pleasure. God is undefinable and infinite, and so we could know Him, He wrapped Himself in humanity, a human body, so that He could reveal Himself to us in a way we would understand. This is the incarnation of Jesus. God pulled Himself into humanity to rescue those He loved-His enemies... that were not created as His enemies, but as His companions, and then joined the rebellion of darkness and Satan against Him. There could not be reconciliation without bloodshed. Sacrifice had to be made to restore the relationship. For thousands of year, animals were killed as a sin sacrifice, over and over again but it wasn't enough... Though the sacrifices were the propitiation for sin, there was still a separation. Yet His love is a jealous love... and it burns for each of us. The only way that the separation could be completely cut out is if there was one perfect sacrifice once for all. So He took it upon Himself to do it Himself. He stepped out of all the glory of Heaven, all the glory of His Divine Kingship, and wrapped Himself in flesh, and limited Himself to live as a man. That's why He came as a baby, grew into a man, suffered, died, was buried... but that's not all. This sacrifice of life birthed life forevermore. He took the keys (authority) of death, hell, and the grave, and made a way for us to get back to Him-the only way that would actually work. He came back from the dead, fully alive, not half-living or living dead like a zombie. He literally died and literally physically came back to life. And He did it to give us life, and life more abundantly, with Him, that we might know Him-not know of Him, but have a real, intimate relationship with GOD. With the Infinite Being. With Yahweh, the One who said I Am Who I Am. He is everything we could ever hope for, and everything we could ever need. He has gone, and will continue to go to extreme measures to show His love.

Super Powers!

2010-02-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

As I was reading one of my friend's updates the other day, she quoted one of her professors at Asbury Theological Seminary. He made the point that thanks to Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts are like real life super powers! I've always thought that, and found it pretty exciting that he would say that in his class. I'm no professor of Theology in a reknown seminary, but I do know my Jesus.

Look in the Bible. Look at the cool stuff the prophets and apostles and Jesus did. It's like right out of X-Men, but WAY better. They FOR REAL turned staffs into snakes, parted seas, saw visions, had dreams, wrestled with angels, called fire down from heaven, made ax heads float in water, raised people from the dead, commanded it not to rain and it didn't, commanded it to rain again and it did, multiplied food, disappeared from large crowds who were trying to kill them, knew secrets about people that no one else could have ever known, healed the sick, walked on water (not just Jesus), walked through locked doors, miraculously escaped from jail, healed people when their shadows fell on them, were bitten by vipers and suffered no harm, and all kinds of really awesome supernatural stuff.

And the day is coming soon where the Lord's people will not only operate in that level of anointing again, but will far surpass it. Soon. Come Lord Jesus, come!!!

Anti-Christian; Anti-Hypocrite

2010-02-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

I find it interesting that over the passing months I have met and gotten to know a few people really well, and talk to many others, that are either not in favor of Christianity or are highly opposed to it. Yet, there's something I've noticed each time...

As I have gotten to know these people better and better and have built relationships with them, some of them have become good friends. I have realized that it is the goodness in their hearts that has drawn me to them-those things that remind me of Jesus. That's how it is with anyone in any relationship-those things that appeal to you in the character of someone are what draw you into a friendship with them. The thing is though, these people don't really care about Jesus, or are totally opposed to Him for the most part. Getting to know them though, I know if they really saw who Jesus is, and not how those who claim to follow Him are, that they would fall in love with this God-Man.

I hate that so many people hate Christianity because of those who have been blatantly hypocritical. Don't get me wrong, we've all been hypocritical at some point in our lives. Yet throughout the course of history there have been so many times where the "church" or those who are "Christians" have done so many things unrighteously in the name of Jesus. There have been so many people who named the name of Christ that did not know Him or follow His teachings who used their deception to manipulate or control. There have been so many people who have hidden behind a mask of so-called "Christianity" for personal gain. But, the Bible says that "...where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there." (James 3:16)

The to-the-core, true teachings of Jesus can never be used for power or manipulation over others. True love cannot manipulate. It is against its nature. The Bible clearly states that manipulation is wrong and hurts people. Jesus never used His position for political gain. As a matter of fact, when the Zealots wanted Him to have a physical kingdom and take the Jews out from under the control of Rome, He replied that His kingdom was not of this world and that His was a kingdom that would last forever. Where people wanted to make Him a political king, He would not let them do it.

Jesus lived as a man under Roman rule in Israel. He did what was right. He paid His taxes and walked in integrity.

These ones that I have met, I have found, are not anti-Jesus but are anti-manipulation and anti-hypocrite... which is how Jesus was. I have found that even though there are those who are completely against the person of Jesus and hate Him, that in my midst there are some who just hate the fabrication of those wicked men who falsely named the name of Christ...

I hate the hypocrisy as much as these others do, but I have seen the real Jesus, and I will give the rest of my life to make His name famous instead of infamous. I will give the rest of my life to do all I can to walk in His teachings and live by His ways and not be one who claims Him and doesn't know Him. I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to let Him use me to make the wrong things right. I will be a real Christian. I will be a real follower and lover and disciple. I refuse to complain about something and not change it. I have declared war on this hypocrisy-not just because I hate it-but because it gives my Best Friend a bad name that He doesn't deserve!!!

2010-01-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

Anger toward injustice is stirring and starting to burn in my heart. Every day I see this war, and every day I see it's casualties. Every day I see wrong things that need to be set right, and I want Jesus to come SO bad. Every day it gets worse and worse-this longing.

When my friends are under attack, when my job is under attack, when my family is under attack, when my church is under attack, and when I see nations I have a heart for collapse in one second where so much devastation comes in an instant and cause pain and so many different things... it kind of comes to a point where enough if enough and you can't sit there anymore and not be moved. It comes to the point where you gotta stand up and fight until you can't fight anymore.

And my heart is ripped and my eyes are bloodshot from crying... and my heart is full of longing to go, to stay, and for Him to come. I am awake as I've ever been. And I am a warrior full of righteous anger, and full of love, mercy, and compassion. I come in the name of Jesus. He is in me, and I am in Him. And with Him, there will be no stopping me.

For the weapons of our warfare are mighty through our God, and He uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, and the weak things of this world to put to shame the strong. And this my inheritance will not be forfeited.

Giant bread....

Power in Fasting

2010-01-16T03:54:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to really remember how many doors fasting can open. There's been so many opportunities the past few days it has been ridiculous... I love God!

No Mercy? Shooo!

2010-01-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

So, I'm sitting here at House of Joe behind the counter enjoying the buzz from all of the many people who've come to hang out and drink coffee tonight. It's died down a bit, and I'm waiting a little while before I start sweeping. Anyway, today has been interesting. It was another great morning with Holy Spirit propelling me into the rest of my day, and now here we are at work.

There's so many different people everywhere. There's so many different stories. I heard one of my co-worker's story today. I thought about the similarities between hers and mine, and sat pondering it for a little bit. There's so many other people that I see every day. I have no idea what most of their stories are, but I know I serve a God who is deeply in love with them and desires the deepest relationship with them, no matter who they are, or what walk of life they are from. What a good God, that He'd love those people I can only stand to be around for a few minutes before I'm having to fight of those annoyance demons.

As I was sitting here, I checked my email and found the devotional for today. It was a good one! It made me start thinking about if God didn't show us mercy! HOW HORRIBLE!!! I almost started crying, and if I had been alone, I probably would have. And even beyond how horrible it would be for me personally, I started to think about all of these people in here too! Wow... I'm sure thankful that He is who He is. =)

Creative Streams

2009-12-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

I think it's pretty sweet that the Lord's been pouring out all of this creativity the past few days. I can't wait to see how He uses it. I'm super thankful for it. This is stuff I could never come up with on my own. =)

Lacking Power in Prayer?/ The Real Thing

2009-07-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

So many times I hear people talk about how they feel like their prayers are not doing anything... to the point of giving up or no longer believing the promises of God...

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.

Brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner away from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins."

-James 5:16-20

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, so you will be My disciples. As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you."

-John 15:7-14

God always loves all of us, that is for sure. But that doesn't mean that He is always pleased with all of us. There is a secret concerning prayer-that righteousness and abiding in the words of Jesus effect how effective our prayers are. God honors obedience, and He honors sacrifice. The more we love Jesus and are willing to pay the price for Him, the more effective we are at moving the heart of heaven. Again, it doesn't mean He loves us any less, but when we abide in His words and keep His commandments, He honors that. He's not going to honor our prayers if we are not serious about them. He knows when our lips are saying something but we are being fake in our hearts. Prayer is important... it saves lives.

That is why we must ask God to increase our capacity to love. When we keep His commands out of a place of self-righteousness or legalism or religious acts, our hearts are in the wrong place. We must honor Him out of a place of love. We must obey Him out of a place of love for Him in our hearts.

Jesus said that he who has His word and keeps it is the one who loves Him. What is love? Well, it endures all things, for one... Are we enduring all things for Jesus?

This is the test of if we love Him:

Do we suffer long for Him, through people rejecting us and trials coming our way, or do we compromise and let something else or someone else take His place in our heart?
Are we kind toward Him?
Do we refrain from envy for Him?
Do we give Him the glory and not parade what we do and puff ourselves up?
Do we keep from behaving rudely?
Do we seek our own, or do we live for Him instead of ourselves?
Are we in a place where we are not provoked?
Do we think evil thoughts or do we think righteous thoughts?
Do we rejoice in our sin or our hate sin?
Do we love the truth, or do we run from it and reject it?
Do we bear all things for Him, no matter what it is, because He is more important to us?
Do we believe what He has promised, or in our hearts think it's not true and charge Him with being a liar?
Do we hope in His word, or do we doubt it?
Do we endure whatever comes for His namesake?

Love does..

If we are in a place of true love towards Christ, and have made up our minds that we will live for Him and strive to be like Him no matter how many times we fall and scrape our knees and will run as hard as we can after Him and ask Him to purge those things out of our lives, it really makes a difference!

Not only will the power of our prayers increase, but so will everything else!

Seek first the kingdom of God, which is peace, righteousness, and joy in the Holy Ghost, and all of these things will be added unto you.

If we seek His face in a consistent, steadfast way-we will be changed forever, and the earth will be changed forever as a result of the transformation He works in our hearts.

Is He worth it? It's a high price to pay.

Cracked Eggs and Broken Hearts

2009-05-29T04:53:00.000-07:00

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses, and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty together again."

Hearts like Humpty Dumpty...

Where's the King? The King can do it.

But wait... an egg? Eggs can't be put back together after they've been cracked.

Oh... Then the King will make him a new egg.

What?

Yes. A new egg.

You're weird.

Indeed. :) But watch...

Passion and Suffering

2009-05-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

On Sunday afternoon, I learned something very interesting that made more sense to me than anything else probably ever has. In Latin, the word fr "passion" and the word for "suffering" are the same.

As I looked back over my life, I can see that so intensely. As said by Ted Travers, "There is a high price to pay for love, but you have to decide that the reward of love is going to be worth it."

I have thought about that a lot. I've recently been able to see a situation that I've never seen before in my life-and in the midst of all the hurt in it, I have seen someone exemplify this tremendously. It is such a picture of Jesus to me. I can only hope and pray that if I ever found myself in that situation that I would respond as faithfully to love as this person has.

It's true, isn't it? Love does cost. It costs us everything we have at times. The end is worth every bit of pain and suffering we could ever encounter. Shakespeare said, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I think that the word "lost" there could-and should-refer to way more than losing a person. It is better to have sacrificed everything, put all of yourself toward love, been stretched to the point of breaking, felt the pain of rejection and the sting of death, than to sit in a state of fear not pursuing love. Love... is worth it all.

May we never give up on love, no matter how many times we face suffering for pursuing it.

What A Pretty Sack of Garbage

2009-05-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that God is redemptive. That is honestly my favorite thing about Him... how He takes all my issues and all of my imperfection and all of my mistakes and transforms them into something that reflects His glory. Only God can do that. He takes the sack of garbage I've presented Him with and weaves it together with His goodness and turns it into something even more valuable than precious jewels. He is so good... and I am so grateful.

I've felt like a mess lately... but after today, I feel lined up again. I feel like I'm sitting right in His arms, and it's the only place I want to be... I need my Father... and He is right there with me and will not ever leave me or forsake me. He is helping me through it all. He is taking what's wrong and washing it away. He's changing me. He's growing me. He's removing things that hinder love. He's causing me to see again...

and I love that...

I love Him...

I love You, Daddy...

Dang...

2009-05-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

In Proverbs it talks a lot about how a wise man doesn't open his mouth... how a wise man doesn't rebuke or bring correction to a fool because a fool will repeat what his folly and not hear the rebuke.

I used to think God needed to use my mouth as a tool...

and He will... but...

He needs my heart a lot more than my mouth.

More of You, less of me, please Lord...

Seperation... Disgust... and Confidence.

2009-05-18T17:58:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about this... separation... that is coming... and already has come.

I've been thinking about how everyday it gets harder and harder to try to stay in the same relationships with people who aren't moving forward with Christ. It's impossible, actually. And if the relationships are kept, the nature of them must change.

What fellowship does light have with darkness? I'm starting to see that it doesn't... at all. I knew that before, but it used to seem like somehow it kind of was possible in some aspect, but the more I start to see Jesus for who He is and what He did, the more I start to see how disgusting sin is, the more I see the truth, and the more I see what followers of Christ are really supposed to be, the more I realize that the closer you grow to Jesus, the less you want to be around darkness. The more you love Him, the more you hate your old master (sin), and then more you hate being around it or doing it. The more I see sin rip families apart and destroy peoples' lives and cause those I love to be depressed and hopeless, the more angry I get and never want to do it again. The more I realize that when I'm at work and talk about someone else at work and hear people in the break room do the same, that Jesus' blood poured out for that, and that death came because of that, and that it's bringing death every time I do it, it disgusts me.

When I've been praying for people and things in their lives to be broken off and then see it right in front of me, it breaks my heart, and it makes me want to throw up. It is disgusting. Especially in the lives of people who claim Christ. I am just as fed up with those things in my life. And I'm re-declaring war on them. I hate sin... I hate what it does... It goes against my Father. It goes against the One I love. It goes against everything that is right. It goes against life. Even the smallest most seemingly insignificant sins. They bring death. They make the heart sick. They hurt people and build up and multiply and morph into a big mess.

At the same time, as disgusting as it is, and as angry as it makes me, I can definitely say that I can handle it completely different than I ever have. In that disgust and that anger, I can be in the presence of my enemy and know that the presence of my God is there, and that my God is much greater than any enemy of the cross. I know that everything that is disgusting, He can take and make it beautiful. I know that His name is Faithful and True. That is the identity of my God. He is Faithful and True and Holy-and He is a mighty, mighty, Warrior. He is POWERFUL. POWERFUL. As disgusted as I may get, I don't worry about it anymore. My God is going to take it out. It is in His sovereign hands.

Past Waist Deep

2009-05-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

I need some deep conversations... some good reading to get my mind turning. I need more. I want to learn again. I wish that I had more time to read and think about the Lord and life and everything. I want to stop wasting time. I want to make everything count. I want more.

2009-05-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Light dawning in the darkness-righteousness as a forerunner...

No longer seeing beauty in the eyes of the world, yet in the eyes of the world's Creator.

Scattered by thoughts here and there running around in circles and jumping and spinning and doing cartwheels in the mind-all around, up and down. Spin, spin.

Even in the inability to focus, more of an ability to focus than has ever been.

Angels dancing, visitation. Holy mountain, anticipation. Soaring higher, feeling lighter. Ascend into the heavens.

The plucking of strings is a wonderful thing. Heaven's sound coming down, released into the earth. Changing atmosphere, increase in what I hear, let the King come quick.

Like a missile locked on target, the passion of His heart... to pursue and chase and capture.

Let Your oil pour out, into the bowls that hold the capacity of Your anointing-let it splatter, let it splash.

Pull up the nets that are full of fish, they're so heavy that there's not anymore room in the boat. They're up to our knees, up to our waists.

Presesnce.

F
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McDonald's

2009-04-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

As I sit in the floor of my empty room of this empty apartment, on my computer thanks to my generous, internet-sharing neighbors, there are a few things I am pondering. A good ninety percent of them are thoughts about, you guessed it, McDonald's.

Why would I be thinking about McDonald's, you ask? Well, it is quite simple really. This morning I was feeling really bad. I was terribly nauseated, felt like I might pass out, and called out of work. I went back to sleep, and woke up feeling a bit better. I realized, though, that I needed food. I thought about it for a minute. I decided I needed to still take it easy, and thought about coming here, to the apartment. I remembered the McDonald's on Sarno Road, right beside the apartments. "Good idea," I thought to myself.

I pulled up to the window and spoke to the fast-food order box operator on the other side. She asked me if she could take my order and I replied with, "Uh, yeah. I'll take a ten piece nugget, a sweet tea, and an apple pie." She politely thanked me and asked me to pull around to the first window. From there, I paid for my food, got my food, and drove off to the apartment.

I unlocked the door and walked back to my room with my laptop bag, canvas purse, and McDonald's in my hand. When I sat everything down, I started to eat, and feel a little queasy yet again. "Why?!" I asked! I realized it was because I decided to eat McDonald's. Now, surely you understand why I began to think upon McDonald's.

I read the side of the red, yellow, white, and gray bag. There were quotes on it, as usual. One of them read, "A GREAT STORY HAS TWO SIDES... Take the McDonald's hamburger. It's sear-sizzled on the grill so both sides come out perfect every time. Whichever way you look at it, it's the one story that always has a happy ending. I'm lovin' it. (Big yellow 'M')."

Right... Every time I have gotten a McDonald's hamburger or cheeseburger, it has always been perfectly made. It has always been perfectly "sear-sizzled" to fit my taste. I mean, really? Who are they trying to fool?

Everyone knows that no one eats McDonald's for "good quality" food. People eat McDonald's because it is quick, they can down it in their car, and it can be seemingly inexpensive depending on what you order. And honestly, if we knew what was actually in this food and what it did to our bodies, I'm pretty sure we would eat it three times a year at most because of having no other options.

Have you ever been completely satisfied with your trip to McDonald's? I mean completely satisfied with the taste, quality, and service of your food? At best, I usually think, "Well, that wasn't too bad", but it never leaves me really happy.

Just something to think about.

The Cost of Discipleship

2009-04-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

When Jesus was on the earth, people followed Him. Some followed Him to be fed. Some followed Him because they wanted to be someone's disciple. Some followed Him to see the miracles. Some followed Him because they loved Him and knew He was the Son of God.

I'm going to discuss one of John Key's sermons that he preached at a service in Athens, Alabama.

Jesus looked at the fisherman. He said, "Follow Me". They looked at Him, those eyes piercing through to the deepest parts of their hearts, and they dropped their nets and left their boats. They left their businesses-the means by which they provided for themselves. Some even left their families.

When Elijah came to put a mantle on Elisha to be the next prophet of Israel, Elisha was ready to go. He asked if he could say goodbye, took care of it, and then took the oxen that he was caring for and slaughtered them and boiled their flesh.

So many times, we want to drag our nets up on shore. We are not willing to say goodbye to our fathers and mothers. We are not willing to leave what we feel like is "our provision" and have faith in Christ to provide for us. We are not willing to kill that which our old lives were based on and sacrifice it to the Lord. We want to hold on to everything. We want to stay in the world. We won't give it up, because we are selfish and He does not mean enough to us to forsake everything-even though He forsook everything to show the Father's love for us. The Father forsook HIS everything-He looked away from His Son, because of His love for you. He looked away from His Son, because of His love for me. the LEAST we can offer Him is everything that we are. Sure, we will mess up, but if we love Him, we should strive to honor Him and please Him in everything we do. He said, "If you love Me, keep My commands," and, "He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me."

We don't earn His love by works. We show Him our love by obedience.

Works without faith are dead. Yet, faith without works is in vain. If there is no fruit, there is no faith. They go hand in hand. When they are real, they cannot be separated.

It doesn't mean we won't mess up-it means we love Him so much that the way we live is shifted to bring Him honor in everything we do. It means if He is our One True Obsession, we will have our mind focused on Him and what makes Him smile.

Words are cheap. Sometimes I wish that words could be taken away for short periods of time where people could only communicate by their actions. What if we couldn't talk? If you couldn't TELL Jesus you love Him, would He still be able to tell?

He knows our hearts...

Proper Sight?

2009-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Maybe my vision is becoming less blurry. At least, I would hope so. It seems I'm beginning to see a lot of things that I couldn't necessarily see before. It's a really good thing, but it's also very easy to question. I feel more like I am unlearning things I learned along the years.

I think the whole, "everything in moderation" and "excess is bad" ideas are really true for a lot of things. Of course, those won't work for everything, but in some cases they seem to make a lot of sense. For instance, if you value yourself too highly you can be extremely arrogant or selfish. If you don't value yourself enough, you can let people walk all over you or worse... humm...

Sigh...

2009-04-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

My heart is stretching and my mind is turning... why isn't our heart for You burning? And it can't burn for any others either-not in the way of being another's Bride but in the way of reaching out to the ones You love...

You're not good enough, you're not like us, we don't want to deal with your problems because we are too insecure to even address our own. Put a mask on. Cover the gaping bleeding hole with a band aid too small to even stick to the sides. Down it goes getting lost in the mess only to cause more pain and possibly infection.

Too bad we can't get infected with the real thing. Because if we could get infected with the real thing, then no one would have a chance of being untouched and not catching it. No! We feel it is too big of a burden and it would cost us too much-but it cost Him His life.

EVERYTHING! Everyday-going in and out I can't shake it. I can't seem to break it. And why would I want to? I don't. It consumes my mind. Why can't we find... it?

And over and over again I keep seeing the ones who could change it-locked outside it. They hate it just as much as I do, for reasons different and reasons the same. Why won't it change? It's time. It's time to wake them up. It's time to turn the fake to something real and time to shift mindsets that only know rules. It's time for a violent love to take over the earth. It's time to stop playing games and start being real. It's time to stop uniting as hypocrites and start uniting as holy people who try but still mess up and have a need for His mercy and forgiveness. Holy doesn't mean righteous, it means different-set apart. If we could just set ourselves apart... but no... we choose to be like everyone else when that is the opposite of who we really are.

OPEN OUR EYES! Show us the hard things so that we can do them... Teach us how to love. Remind us that it is You in us-the hope of glory. Drive it into our hearts that You are greater than he who is in the world. Make the darkness light. Take the idols and let Your presence sit all around them until they crash loudly to the ground and shatter into a thousand pieces. Bind the brokenhearted. Teach us to mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. Change our hearts so that we feel again. Give us passion and compassion and boldness and fierceness untamed, only fueled by the fire of Your love. Your jealousy O Holy One. You are exclusive... Teach us how to love.

Restore Your bride to her original state... pour oil out from heaven that drips off each member as they go. Turn me into a lion-You are a Lion.

POUR

[********************]

[ ]

{ }

OUT

US.

Please...

#3

2009-03-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

check under the white paper in that drawer where you keep all of the white paper.

A Precious Jewel

2009-03-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

I think it's safe to say that I've found the best thing that could ever happen to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that nothing means more to me, and nothing ever will. I know that the One I've found has no comparison.

I think that the world has just shown me its best. I think that the best wine that the world could offer has been offered, but there's no way that I could ever drink of it, because I drank it once, and it's not worth losing this new wine that I've found.

I can say wholeheartedly that nothing else compares.

Nothing else is worth leaving everything.

And nothing is worth leaving Him. Ever.

I know who I am, and I know who He is, and nothing can take it away. Because I've seen...

I've seen the fire of love. I've seen the compassion. I've seen the healing. I've seen the freedom. I've seen the fear leave. I've seen the miracles. I've seen His face, and I've never seen anything else so beautiful.

<3

Mind. Racing. Is It Really Easier Than I Thought?

2009-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

There's so much on my mind. I'm not even sure where to start thinking, much less what to pour out on paper.

All of my life I've heard, "Elizabeth, you can do anything you want to do. You can be anything that you want to be." I was told at five that I could find the cure for cancer, and I believe that I actually have-yet... Somehow the connector is missing.

Somehow in being told those things all of my life, and now being "grown up", it seems like it should be harder. I think I'm almost in disbelief that I can do anything because I keep thinking to myself, "This is too easy, it can't really be this simple." Should it feel harder? Or am I right where I'm supposed to be? Aren't people who do great things supposed to have a hard time accomplishing them? But I feel like I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I know the answers. I feel like if I would just do it, everything I've ever imagined would be fulfilled-and then some.

When I was little, I was always intrigued by those big city street preachers who stood on the corner with the signs reading, "The end of the world is nigh!". I am not sure how to describe what I thought about them, other than remembering I thought they were really weird. Still, for some reason I always wondered what made them so weird and how they got that crazy.

I'm not sure that open air preaching is the most effective means to sharing the gospel with people. I tried it once at Big Spring Jam and people just thought that I was drunk... which... I can't blame them for thinking. I was walking around laughing and shouting, "Jesus loves you!" as loud as I could. I needed to conquer my fear and be bold, and was in high school at the time as well, so I also needed to be obnoxious.

So now I hear stories of people who display openly the raw power of the Holy Spirit. I think that's the ticket. I think loving the unlovable is the ticket. I think that living a life where purpose is being walked in is the ticket. I think that truth is the key of freedom to people's lives. I think that His love is the single most powerful transforming entity in the entire universe. I think I would die for it... no, I know I would.

You see, there was this room. It was dark, and the lights wouldn't come on. The only light coming into the room was from where the door was open, but it started closing. And a man did all he could to keep it open. When it was forced open, it started floating off the hinges. Then the man came to get help to turn the lights on. That's apparently where I came into the picture. I said, "I know how to turn the lights on."

Yet I doubt it. Why? I know that it's true. I know that I know... it just seems too simple. Why do I have the mentality that it is supposed to be hard? Why do I feel like it's not fair that it comes so easily to me and not others? Why can't I just go for it? Is it baby steps, or is it leaping off the edge of the cliff? And what on earth is holding me back from running full speed? Is is fear of failure? It better not be. I'll kick myself. Is it fear of being right? That is absurd. Whatever it is, it needs to leave right now. So, I am telling it bye and moving on. "Bye, whatever the heck you are. Never come back again."

Best song ever...

2009-03-03T15:47:00.000-08:00

"God" by Eddie James

God, In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was with
God, The same was in the beginning with
God, All things were made by Him and
without Him was not anything made
It is He that has made us
And not we ourselves
For we have One

God, And Father of all, who is
above all, through all, and in you all
God, The Holy Ghost, Spirit of Truth,
Indwelling Power
God, The Son, Jesus the same,
yesterday today and forever

Jehovah, Yeshua, I Am, Elohim, Kadesh,
He's Holy, none compares to Him
Glorious, All Sufficient, Triumphant King
For Thy pleasure You created all things, God

God, before the foundation of the
world You were
God, before dominions, the heaven,
the earth, and the angels
God, before the galaxies, water, wind
or the air we breathe
Nothing and no one can exist
outside of three for You are

God, who can council, advise, instruct,
direct, or give wisdom to our
God, who has weapons or an army to
wage war and defeat our
God, who has insight, who has revelation
to describe the One whose ways
are past finding out

Jehovah, Yeshua, I Am, Elohim, Kadesh,
He's Holy, none compares to Him
Glorious, All Sufficient, Triumphant King
For Thy pleasure You created all things, God

God, the greatest insult is to take the
work of one's hands and call it
God, even greater, is to take the work of
His hands and call it God
Provoke His jealousy, fire burning envy,
take anyone, take anything and put
in the place of the True and the Living
God, His glory shall not be
shared with another
God, exclusive, you can have
no other lovers

God wrapped in humanity
He gave His life for me
In Him dwelleth all the fullness
of the Godhead bodily

Jehovah, Yeshua, I Am, Elohim, Kadesh,
He's Holy, none compares to Him
Glorious, All Sufficient, Triumphant King
For Thy pleasure You created all things, God

God-God-God-God- You alone are
Eyes like fire, hair like wool
feet like brass, voice of many waters
You alone are
Kadesh, Holy, Separate, Different
Holy, Worthy, Holy, Worthy

God, Glorious in holiness
God, fearful in praises
God, You do wonders
Who is like unto You for You are

Jehovah, Yeshua, I Am, Elohim, Kadesh,
He's Holy, none compares to Him
Glorious, All Sufficient, Triumphant King
For Thy pleasure You created all things, God

One. Two. Three.

2009-03-02T16:48:00.000-08:00

I don't have any idea what's going on in Cleveland right now. I'm kind of over it to be serious... I don't know what to do, but I do know I'm going to Florida soon.

Huntsville on the other hand, I'm not ready to just up and leave yet. I know I'm supposed to, but I really wish I could kidnap a couple of people and take them to Florida with me. I know it'll all work out, but... man. Regardless, I'm super thankful for knowing them, and am even more thankful that I get to be friends with such great people...

Humm...

That's all I wanted to say.

Passion... Burning... Fire...

2009-02-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
Jealousy as cruel as the grave;
Its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it.
If a man would give for love
All the wealth of his house,
It would be utterly despised.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Destiny

2009-02-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Let me come and walk in you, great destiny.

I will pursue all that you have for me.

For I know that for such a time as this, you have placed me here.

If time could stop but for a moment, I wish that it would pause.

Yet I know the time remains, and the sand is drifting down the hourglass.

Is it enough time?

Indeed.

It is.

Impossible, become possible.

Answer the unanswered questions.

Awaken love.

Let life come to its fullness.

Love wouldn't be love without longsuffering, would it?

It doesn't make it any less true.

As colorful as the mask is, rip it off.

What lies beneath is truth, and truth alone.

Your bitterness has blinded you.

If only you could hate your hatred...

Then you would see your destiny.

It's full of love.

In its truest and purest form.

So don't be afraid any longer.

If love makes people look like fools, I know the most foolish of all.

Would you be willing to appear foolish?

Tear it to pieces, rip it to shreds, and ignore that it's crying out for you to listen.

If you take the chance, it will prove it's true.

The best writer writes the story full of adventure with love, full of unexpected twists and irony.

Oh, destiny.

In a Word, and By a Measure... Available Again.

2009-02-14T12:00:00.000-08:00

I asked one of my dearest friends to define love the other day... She said, "In a word, sacrificial."

And really, that could be expounded upon in conversation for hours upon days upon weeks... but... there is one thought I just can't get past...

If love is sacrificial, then the measure of love is how much you are willing to give up for the object of your affection.

At least, REAL love is.

And I see that with those I realize love me the most-what they are willing to sacrifice for me.

I know, also, that the ones I love the most I would give up anything and everything for...

So...

How selfless am I being? I mean, really...

If I say I love ____________, I should consider what that means...

How much do I love?

Well, how much am I willing to give up? And, WHAT am I willing to give up?

Would I give up the very thing that means the most to me?

Wouldn't that show what I love more? The object of my affection or myself? The object of my affection or what I am holding onto so tightly that I'm not willing to give up?

There was this one time, I thought that I loved. I thought I loved, and lied to myself and my love and said, "I love you more than anything else", yet there was another I loved more, that I wasn't willing to give up... And so, I knew that I loved the other lover more... because it's true, that there really is only one you can give your heart to. For if you give it to two, you will love one more. There is no way to completely commit yourself to two.

All or nothing is more appropriate than half and half. For half and half is weak, and not love at all. There is no depth, there is no passion, there is no commitment- only compromise... for both "lovers". So do not try to entertain both-you must choose, and when you do, count the cost and choose wisely. For the rest of your life depends upon the decision of your heart.

So, as the story went, in one moment I chose the wrong object of affection. I chose the other lover. And, for some reason, I could not let go. But then... the day came, and I realized what I was missing without my first love. And the other lover lay slain and severed, never again to return in the same state.

Through the destruction of the other lover, the true love burst forth like no other love ever known... and no other love could ever compare.

And how far I have come in love-never would I return to anything less, nor settle for anyone else to do the same.

So is the purpose of my life.

2009-02-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

The closer I get, the more I begin to realize just how critical every moment is-every moment now, and every moment from the second I get in my car.

This is it. This is the big adventure... Or at least the finish of the beginning.

It's so critical.

Truth, unwavering, at every moment. I must be praying at all times, and remaining sober and vigilant.

Always gravitating forward, not turning as I go. I can't. This is it. It is all or nothing.

It's gonna be a blast! But it will take extremity in all facets of my life, in every area of devotion.

Many have gone, and many have fallen. But I cannot let down Love. I just... I can't. I refuse to.

NOW. Moment by moment. Day by day. That's all I have, and that's where my focus shall remain.

The Branches Are In The Vine, But The Wine Is In The Cluster....

2009-02-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

If we looked at everything with the motive of producing LIFE, and life more abundantly, we wouldn't have the issues of straddling the line concerning what is sin and what isn't. If we would madly pursue everything that God has for us, we would begin to stop considering the line and begin to focus on how close we can get to Him.

Our fear would suddenly leave us, if our perspective on the meaning of life was violently shifted to think that everything that doesn't produce life leads to death. We say we believe in life, and we say we believe in God's word, but we are so afraid of stepping out in faith on it. We think that if we do, He will let us down... When really, by not trusting Him, we are the ones who let Him down every time we decide He's not real enough or big enough or faithful enough to do what He said.

Think about it. The things that He says are sin are things that bring death. The wages of sin is death. That's it's consequence. Disease is a consequence of being in a fallen world, and it leads to death.

Disobedience...

Hatred...

Pride...

Lying...

Murder...

Stealing...

Unfaithfulness...

Sexual immorality (adultery, homosexuality, fornication, lust, etc...)

Complacency...

Rebellion...

Witchcraft...

Sin...

Sin...

SIN...

We don't get it. We don't understand His reasoning behind commanding us not to sin. It's not that He doesn't want us to have fun. It's that He wants us to have more fun. It's not that He doesn't want us to enjoy life. It's that He wants us to have life more abundantly and to the full. He knows His creation and how it works. He knows what is good for His kids and what is not. If your dad tells you not to stick a fork in an electrical outlet, it's not because he hates you and doesn't want you to have fun or to explore or have adventure. It's because he knows it will hurt you, and he loves you.

I think I've tasted enough of both worlds to know that Jesus is so much better than anything we can ever experience in the world... and it really is all or nothing... because He's worth that! You know? There is no loss... there is no cost... there is no sacrifice... we get Him... WOW.

Grace: Covering or Cop Out?

2009-02-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

Something I have realized lately the more I fall in love with Jesus, is that the closer I get to Him the less I allow sin in my life. The closer I get, the passion drives it out as my gaze is upon Him. And I just don't understand how I could ever allow anything to remain in my life if I knew that He was crucified for it. [I understand being bound, and I understand struggles and I understand Romans 7 and 8...]**

I've been trying to seek truth, no matter what, no matter how hard or uncomfortable it may be to swallow at times. I can't change what He said. So, I'm going to find out what He said, and let Him change me.

Reading and looking at passages in the New Testament, the early church was human and messed up, but they also strove as hard as they could to eradicate sin from their lives. They didn't just let it stay and hang out and play whenever it wanted to.

Passages like this make you think a little differently about what our lives are supposed to look like:

Romans 6:1-3

1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?

1 John 1:5-10

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

1 John 2:1-6

1My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for^[a] the sins of the whole world.

3We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5But if anyone obeys his word, God's love^[b] is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

It's very clear that sin should not be allowed to stay in our lives. And honestly, if you think about it, what kind of love would put Jesus through that, knowing that it's wrong and willingly doing it anyway, and knowing that He suffered for it? That's not the kind of love I want Jesus to tell me I have toward Him...

Now, I'm not saying we're never gonna sin again. I'm not saying we'll never make mistakes. If we say we are without sin, we deceive ourselves, right?

There's an awesome sermon on grace that I wish I had on tape. It pretty much says that we use grace as an excuse to continue in sin. "You know, I'm covered by the blood, and Jesus loves me anyway." Yes, He does love us anyway, but He can't overlook our sin if we keep doing it.

The New Covenant-grace- raised the bar. Before, in the Old Testament, if a man committed adultery with a woman he had broken the law. But in the New Covenant, Jesus said that if a man even THINKS lustfully after a woman he's committed adultery. If you murdered under the old law, you had broken it. If you hate your brother under the new law, you are a murderer. Grace is the means by which we are able to overcome sin, not leave it in our lives and ignore it.

Romans 12:1-2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

We are transformed daily. We are being sanctified. We are in the process.

Ephesians 1

7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both^[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who^[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.

Prayer for Spiritual Wisdom

15 Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16 do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding^[c] being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.
22 And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Let's love the Lord with all of our heart, all of our soul, and all of our mind! Everything that's in us! Because love overcomes. It bears everything, believes everything, hopes everything. It doesn't delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It trusts. Let's trust Him. He won't let us down. Ever!

=)

He's so worth it... all I can give Him is not an adequate enough sacrifice... yet it's all we have. There is no cost. There is no loss. It's all or nothing baby.

**Do you love God and wrestle with sin, or do you love sin and wrestle with God? THAT is the answer to the condition of our hearts...

One Love, One Allegiance, One Loyalty

2009-01-13T07:40:00.000-08:00

When you find the one person you really love more than life, and you realize that person loves you more than they love life...

You forget about everything else.

When you fall so deeply in love that you would go anywhere, do anything, make any sacrifice, persevere through any situation and go to any length for that love-you have been wrecked.

Real love sees no other lover. Real love takes away the threat of another. Real love makes everything worth it. Real love produces loyalty. Real love produces belief. Real love makes it through anything!!!

Real love has no competition.

"Turn my back on my father, my mother. Turn my back on every other lover! And I'll press on, yes I'll press on! For I am in love with You-there is no cost! I am in love with You-there is no loss! I am in love with You-I wanna take Your name! I am in love with You."

The Plan

2009-01-08T16:27:00.000-08:00

The Plan is, as follows:

On the blessed day of the Grand Saint of the Emerald Isle, my feet shall land in Florida. From there, I will continue to passionately pursue my deepest dreams and wildest imaginations.

I will purchase a skateboard, maybe even a long board, and cruise through the sidewalks to the sand. I shall swim hard and learn how to surf. I will punch a shark in the face, and then dance upon the waves, for walking is not quite my style.

One if by land, two if by sea- a writer I shall be. So, three. On the land, by the sea, writing I will be.

A school to teach me the ways of journalism- the means I am destined and choosing to make my tent.

The Dutch man spoke of climbing the mountain to the top five percent. I will climb, never looking down, for I have a fear of great heights. Yet somebody once relayed to me that courage is not the absence of fear but deciding something else is more important. Onward, upward-I will go. I will make up words along the way, because someone else told me that's what writers do. They make up words. How about, ziggerhoff? It sounds German, but I kind of like it. I have a friend who lived in Germany. Maybe she can tell me if I really just made that up.

Yet these endeavors are only what meets the eye. Underneath the surface, I shall be like the eight year old king. I will make up my mind to be an unstoppable force-a weapon in the hand of one more powerful than my own. Reform will come, and I will be its advocate, alongside an army of violent lovers. Nothing will stop us, because we live for purpose and embody the warrior ethos in a invisible manner that the American Soldier does in the physical. That, my friends, is the least of what we must do.

Speaking of the American Soldier, one who is dear to me is miles away in Iraq. A sister, and a friend, who I have learned much with and from. When a branch is severed, it allows something new to spring forth. I have seen the hand of redemption, and I have seen that what they say is true: It is the little foxes that spoil the vines. Yet through much I have seen that light always prevails over darkness, when light is given dominion in a place. The light shall have its dominion.

The Lighthouse will also be an aid in bringing this to pass. It is there for that sole purpose. Light belongs in the darkness. In the darkness, it shall be. Yet it will not always remain dark. As another has also written, The Lighthouse will brighten it. The same one saying it shall bring the calm to stormy seas, be guidance, calm, hope...

Yes! And yes again!

So be it.

That, is The Plan.

Adventure

2009-01-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

I'm glad I took one of my good friend's advice... to go... and one of my other best friend's advice to go and explore and follow dreams while I still had this spirit of adventure on me. Because it's changed my life.

Because I've always loved adventure and have always been to afraid to just go. I've been afraid to just do it. I've be afraid to run after everything I envision. But not anymore.

There's not anymore hiding and being afraid. I feel... so free...

Because now I'm doing what I was always supposed to... or I'm getting ready to go do that, and I'm about to explode having to wait a little while.

I love it.

This whole "the world is my playground" idea... I've realized I kind of thrive on new things. Of course, there are old things that are irreplaceable... but that is with all of us.

When I realize how afraid of life I was, it scares me... I'm so glad I know I can go after this thing now.

So... I guess this is kind of also a thank you... for being one of those people God used to thrust me into my destiny.

Nail on the Head...

2008-12-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

Well, it's definitely a time of testing... something has tried me every day so far, but I'm not gonna let that stop me. Jesus totally has me. It's like a trust fall... I told Him I hate those, but I know He'll catch me.

Anyway! Some cool stuff has happened the past couple of days!

I got some of the music from August Rush to learn. I can sort of play dueling guitars now. I am so excited! I love that stuff!!! eheeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Started work last night at 10... just got off an hour ago. I'm thankful that I was able to transfer. I won't have hours that any human should run off of, but it's a necessary means to an end and you have to do what you have to do. In the end, every moment of sleep I missed will be worth it. I can't wait...

Working in Huntsville is WAY different than working in Cleveland.

I've got a few books to start reading. I'm excited about them. Just saying.

Dancing Frosty changed my life...

Made a new friend.

I am secretly praying for a few people to come to FL... lol. Three as a matter of fact. The first, a lot... the second, a lot but not as much, and the third... just hoping that one will happen too.

Bob Marley sounds like a good name for a banana tree.

I wish I wasn't so tired... I want to go play in a vineyard RIGHT NOW.

Optimus Prime is really pink...

Meteorite showers are pretty cool.

And I think that there is a warrant out for my arrest in the C of C, because none of them are returning my calls or messagessssssssss, whhhhaaaaa?

One stupid thing the Pharisees did was judge Jesus for the people He ate with.

I need my pillow, t-shirt blanket, and my cat. Pronto.

Good night! Or should I say, good morning?

Ehh.. I'll settle for..

holla!

Bumfuzzled

2008-12-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

I can honestly say that I don't really know how I feel right now....

This season of my life is OVER.

I don't know what the next three months hold. I don't know what the months after that hold.

I feel like I'm starting to be tested and tried and I feel like the next three months is going to be more than I ever thought I could handle as far as testing goes.

I have to be honest and say I'm a little confused about some things. I'm trying to sort through it.

I'll steal this analogy, but something keeps trying to shut the door...

It can NOT by any means be shut if the authority to keep it open is taken. No one can keep it open if the authority over it says "be shut" and no one can shut it if the authority over it says "be opened". And the door has been told to open.

But something is trying, with all of its might to shut it...

And somehow being hands and feet and having dominion and being a vessel through which the kingdom and it's dominion and authority are transfered to the earth is super hard because there's also that whole human effort thing and having to discern what is and what isn't and when and when not to and all of that other stuff...

I know what I was told. And I believe... But I so feel like Thomas in the moment...

But I will say, "I believe, help my unbelief."

Healed.

I know He will show me. I'm not going to ask to put my hands in the nail prints and hole in His side... just for Him to remind me what He spoke to me to begin with and reassure me that I know what I'm doing.

BLlllllllaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH.

His or Not?

2008-12-04T05:47:00.000-08:00

When I was cleaning out some notes of mine this morning, I ran across some that I took over the summer. I took it while we were in DC for The Call.

"Do you love God and wrestle with sin, or do you love sin and wrestle with God?"

It is a simple question, really. Yet it can also be a very difficult one.

And each of us know our answer...

I Hope You Still Feel Small

2008-12-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

when you stand beside the ocean.

I can't stop thinking about all of the sunrises to wake up to with the waves crashing all around... looking out as far as I can see... Wow. Breath taking.

I think the more of Jesus' creativity I see, the more creative I become.

There's something about standing at the shore and realizing there's only so much that we know about but there's always more that makes you hungry, you know? There's something about looking up at all of the stars and realizing that there are thousands we can see but a billion more beyond those.

And why should we ever get bored? I know that looking at my life, sometimes it's easy to be distracted. Yet when things are in the right perspective, I am so full of excitement and so curious to know more about this God who is so much more awesome than I can ever even fathom in my wildest kingdom imagination.

I don't have a favorite color, but when I finally am in the throne room, there's going to be colors I have never seen. I know when I get there, the Lord's going to take my breath away with the color He created in His glory knowing one day it would be my favorite....

Just to know Him... to find out more and more and more for all of eternity... Wow. I can't imagine the thought of missing out on that.

He's the best thing that ever happened to me. People come and go. Even the ones who don't can never amount to who He is. They can never do as much to impress me. They can never think of things as special as He does to make me smile. There's a place in my heart that just can't be filled by anything but Him. He's so... breath taking.

And when I do stand by that ocean, the revelations of His glory poured out on me, I will be in awe. And am even now... But wow... Just the chance to behold the beauty of His creation. He's glorious. And they WILL know. He's too good not to share... He's too amazing... there just aren't words.

They fail me. Nothing can describe Him. Even the strongest thoughts are understatements. And I can't hoard it... I can't hold it in... the joy He brings me... Everyone should experience this God... This One called the Word. This One who manifested Himself in the flesh as Jesus the Nazarene.

*cry*

Christmas...

2008-11-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

...music is playing in our kitchen. The song playing is, "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas". It is quite fitting. I must admit, the song has been stuck in my head for some amount of time now.

I think that Christmas gets on my nerves a lot because most people forget about Jesus and get in an "it's okay for me to be selfish right now" mode. I heard countless stories at my register on Black Friday of fights breaking out over merchandise and people being run over. As a matter of fact, at the Wal Mart in New York, an elderly man who came in to work as a greeter was trampled to death. I just don't understand why STUFF would be so important to people that they would trample an old man so that someone didn't beat them to it. That makes me disappointed in humankind.

I realize that Christmas Day isn't even really when Jesus was born. The time when Mary and Joseph would have traveled to Bethlehem for the census was completely different. However, if we are going to make it about Jesus, we should REALLY MAKE IT ABOUT JESUS. It would be nice...

Now, I admit, as much of a scrooge as I can be about that, I actually enjoy Christmas. I usually hate winter up until right around Christmas and again shortly thereafter. It's not really fun until you hear some Frank Sinatra Christmas tunes and revisit the childhood magic of Frosty and hot chocolate by a warm fireplace. Some of my most cherished memories are from Christmas time. I mean, there is something magical about Christmas when you are a child, whether or not you have discovered that Santa Clause isn't real.

I remember when I was really little, every Christmas morning, I would go and wake up Mom and Dad by bursting in their room and jumping on their bed. I was an only child-I was expected to behave like that when there tons and tons of boxes covered in wrapping paper for me to shred to pieces.

After I got a little older, my mom kept explaining to me that she didn't want to wake up at 6:00 a.m. on Christmas morning. I was trained how to make coffee from an early age. I was told to go to the kitchen and make her coffee and bring it upstairs. There was no more jumping on the bed. I slowly became bitter, and then I started drinking the coffee too. I suppose that my introduction to coffee in third grade is the reason I now spend a good percent of my income on coffee at Starbucks. Luckily right now they have cool peppermint mocha drinks on the menu especially for the Holidays. Would you know, they can make those for you year round though? It's true. That's my new drink. I started getting it before they introduced their fancy Christmas drinks.

You can't possibly leave out the food. Christmas is like a second Thanksgiving. It's all the same thing, except there is more emphasis on the ham than the turkey this go around. Thanksgiving is definitely my favorite holiday. Experiencing the delightful sensation of warm sweet potato casserole in my mouth only a month later is something that makes Christmas a great day. Forget that marshmallow topping junk-you've got to do the brown sugar and pecan topping-and you've got a piece of heaven on your tongue. I truly believe that whoever created the dish had revelation of the banquet table in Heaven. Only Jesus could show someone to make something that good-whether or not they gave Him credit for it. I will gladly do so.

In Alabama, there is no such thing as a White Christmas. (How ironic that that exact song just started playing as I was typing that). It is always cold, but never snows. Sometimes it rains. It is gross. At least the trees are dead though. If they ever get iced over, they still have the same glistening effect. If by chance I end up stuck in Florida next year unable to go home for Christmas, I shouldn't be too terribly disappointed that it didn't snow. I won't be disappointed if it's not cold either, because really, there is no point to cold unless it DOES snow.

All in all, Christmas is a fun holiday. It's great to be around family and join in all the festivities.

Maybe I'll try egg nog this year...

2008-11-28T12:07:00.000-08:00

I just finished my first Black Friday.

It was good for entertainment...

Maybe a job at a theater would be cool?

I could eat that good popcorn all of the time and wear a spiffy uniform.

Yeah. That's what I want to do. I'm going for it.

And if I can't do that, I'm sure there's something I can do for the next 3 months...

Once I get settled in Florida I can get a real tent making job.

Florida...

St. Patrick's Day cannot come soon enough.

I was thinking about the drive down there. A nice long drive to consider a lot of things... A single hotel room... and another half of that nice long drive.

As much as I long for that, I long for what is coming before it... I greatly anticipate the time spent in Alabama. I love my mom. I love my family... I'm looking forward to time spent preparing and growing and resting.

And now, I'm gonna get off my butt and go eat... right after I google Regal.

2008-11-08T08:25:00.001-08:00

Dude....

I can't wait...

To share the one thing that'll never lose.

The moments that it gets shoved back in my face, but I'm given the opp to give it right back still...

Something more powerful than your persuasion...

For every one you turn, there will be 7 turned back...

There's no stopping it once it starts.

It's a revolution. Something that's impossible for me to do. But it's gonna happen anyway.

And the power that's pushing it, it's gonna take you over.

There's no where to run.

There's no where to hide.

It's coming... coming after you... and it can't be turned back.

There's no escaping.

Oh, F!

=)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-11-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

Well...

The last little bit in Cleveland is sure to go out with a bang. The past few weeks have been great. I've felt so... alive. =) And I realize the future is going to be awesome, but the present is just as awesome. I'm really thankful for the people God's putting in my life right now. I'm thankful for the people who have been a part of my life the past few years... I don't know where I'd be without them. Oh wait, yes... I do know where I'd be. In a big ball of SUCK and HELL on EARTH and GLOOM and HATING LIFE. =) But I'm not. Yay! Thanks Jesus!

This month has just been weird in general. There have been people who've been in my life for a while who are being taken out, like for real taken out. And there are people who are being brought in who I'm super happy about being brought in. I know that something my sis told me she was praying for me has definitely been happening as far as all those things go.

It's like a big adventure right now. I'm about to set out. For real. I'm excited.

I don't want to spend money on canvases to paint on... so I've decided the next few paintings I'm going to be doing will be on cardboard that I have ripped off of the side of a box. I feel like that's just part of my style... lol. I don't know if it's significant or anything... maybe it is... maybe it's not.

I like listening to music... and Jesus gave me $20.00 today in a bank account I definitely do not remember EVER opening... but I'm cool with that.

I'm kind of hungry. I'm gonna eat some cookies... because they're healthier than straight up candy, right? Humm... Maybe?

I think I'm eating at Awful House after the show tonight. Yeah... don't really think I'm too excited about that greasy mess. I really do want to start eating better... I need to get this candy out of my room... I've been eating fruits and veggies some though. It's all good.

I want corn casserole. I hate that it makes me think of broken friendships... because being upset makes me lose my appetite. Sigh... I guess none of that for me for now. L-A-M-E.

I wish people weren't lame sometimes...

I can tell I've been listening to my chill fall tunes playlist. Time for some happy music. lol.

I like purple and blue and black together right now... and green I think. I don't have a favorite color. What am I going to do? Ahhh! This is a tragedy. Such a shame...

I'll be happy when I have a room that isn't just lit up by lamps and sunlight. It's always too dark in here. Blah.

I'm gonna have some milk with those cookies... yeah... k. I'm out 4 R3^L

Fire Jigsaw Masquerade Celebration

2008-11-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

Because my heart's been set on fire...

and everything's coming together...

and fake things are going to be exposed...

and I'm about to go in my room and celebrate good times! Come On!

And even though I'm sitting in a place where the leaves are yellow and orange, they are falling and the season's gonna be changing soon. "2.5 waiting" being faced with winter's death all around and then that'll all come tumbling down down down like... Jericho. And a great city will be taken. And plants will grow. And I will spin and jump and dance with all of my might before the very reason for it all.

I'm in one of those painting moods again. Seems like all I do now is work and paint. And I paint for that same reason... I paint the things I see that no one else sees until I paint it. It's inside every new creation-something to be released.

Going on a Dream

2008-10-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

That's it.

I think I know now...

And so, I'm going to go.

The things that have been burning in my heart... I'm pursuing them.

And the things I've seen in my heart I'll see in my life.

Real love cannot exist apart from RISK. Faith cannot, hope cannot, change cannot, LIFE cannot.

So I will no longer wait around for a free chance that I'll never get.

I'm going to stop over thinking things and do what I was born to do.

I'm not gonna let anyone tell me I can't.

I'm not going to let anyone make me feel inadequate.

I KNOW WHO I AM.

And now I'm gonna BE WHO I AM.

I'm gonna go.

I've made up my mind... nothing is there to hold me back...

5 months. 11 hours. A breath of eternity taking place.

I will not let anything stand in my way.

We're gonna do it. Me and my Best Friend.

Miracle!

2008-10-05T16:42:00.000-07:00

In the past couple of weeks...

I have seen someone miraculously healed from cancer.

I have seen someone immediately healed from pain in their foot.

I have seen someone miraculously healed from laryngitis.

I have seen my Lord be faithful. I have seen Him be who He says He is.

"'I WAS' would be okay with healing back them. But He is 'I AM'! He STILL IS! And 'He IS' still heals right now!" -John Key

Fire Pants...

2008-10-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

Who are we?

We complain about how people are jerks to us, how people are not honest with us, and how people say they are our friends and then don't act like it. We complain when our friends don't spend time with us and don't seem to care if our friendship with them dwindles down at all or not. We are upset because of not being shown love by the ones who are supposed to be close to us... yet, we are worse than they are.

Worse? Than those jerks? How can you say that Lizzy? You don't know what they've done to me! I've done so much for them, and they just took advantage of me and don't care anything about me! They are the most selfish person I know and it hurts so bad because I loved them and sacrificed stuff to help them and they didn't even thank me. They didn't weren't even grateful for what I did for them-they even WASTED what I gave them to help them out! How can you EVER say I'M WORSE THAN THEY ARE?! That hurts.

Good. I'm glad it hurts. It should hurt. Sometimes pain is necessary. I wish we could all stop being pansies and learn how to grow from our pain instead of wallowing in it and letting it eat us alive.

Back to my original question.

Who are we?

Who are we that we treat God so worthlessly?

Who are we that we treat God so worthlessly like He is as any other common thing?

Who are we that we treat the blood of the Son of His love as a common thing?

Who are we that we treat the same the One who REALLY does LOVE US, Who LEFT HEAVEN to come and save us from our trouble, Who came to show us how much He loves us, Who suffered and died for US?

We'll take His name on ourself and not even talk to Him. We don't take time to listen to what He has to say, we just tell Him what we WANT. We'll take His name on ourselves and say we believe but are we not the same as the friend who says, "Yeah, I'm your best friend" and never talks to us? Except, we've never done HALF as much for anyone on the face of the earth as Jesus has done for us. Even if we gave them money, even if we were vulnerable with them, even if we encouraged them and told them they were worth something more than they thought. We still haven't done as much if we have gone without for them, not eaten for them, stayed up crying with them or for them, moved across the country for them, spent money on them, or even quit a job for them. We STILL have not done as much! No where close! Yet we are quick to judge those that hurt us and we ignore how horribly we treat the King of Glory!

He said be hot or cold. He said if we were lukewarm He would spew us out of His mouth. He was talking to believers. If we say we believe and don't have a real relationship with Him, we are the fakest of the fake. If we say we love Him and hate them people around us, we are wearing a mask. If we say that He is our Lord and Savior and do not live our life for Him, we are liars!

Christians, let's just STOP IT NOW! No wonder the world hates Christians and Christianity! Not only because of people being judgmental, but because we are SO FAKE.

LET'S GET REAL!!! LET'S SHOW HIM THAT HE MEANS SOMETHING TO US AND STOP LYING TO HIM AND THE WORLD WE LIVE IN!!

Bullseye.

2008-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well, working at Target has done a few things to me thus far:

01) It has made me miss Maria/New Dog...
02) It has made my whole body ache in places I didn't know could ache.
03) It's given me the opportunity to meet new people.
04) It's also allowed me to be put in a new place to affect it for good.
05) It's making me anxiously await my first pay check...
06) It's made me thank the Lord for blessing me with a job. Me and God, we got this thing. We're tight. =) I KNOW Him. And it ROCKS.
07) It's made me found different ways to destroy body odor, such as Thai Mineral Crystal...
08) It's broken me of my flip-flop only habit.
09) It's made me horribly afraid of haphazardly laid shelfing...
10) It's also helped me to wear the same clothes several days in a row..... O.o

I'm very thankful. I'm learning a lot. I get to set up aisles and cool stuff like that. I use words like "canoe tips" and "pog" and "orange tool". I work with cool people. And I wake up early in the morning.. like... 3 a.m. this week and 2 a.m. next week.

Isn't three supposedly an "open heaven?" I don't know where they got that, or what I think about it, but I'll take it as such. So be careful, I might be praying for you... hahah!

K. Nap time.

Nothing Special

2008-09-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a normal everyday post... a small variation from what I normally post.

I'm excited about fall... I'm in chill music mode. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it's making me feel happy.

I am sitting in my room with my big goofy headphones on and a smile on my face.

Shona's baking brownies in the kitchen. I smell them. They might be burning... but if they'll help make me fat, I'll eat them anyway. =) hahah

I can't wait until I can put on a hoodie and go out to the park and sit... Maybe I will have charged and updated my i-pod by then. If not, maybe I'll just take a nice drive with my windows down and the music turned up.

Fall makes me so reminiscent. I think it's because for some reason most of the big adventures I've gone on in my life have been during that time perhaps... And it makes my inner creativity spring up... (fall.. spring... HAH.. jk.)

I really miss my best friend. Just saying... I wish that we lived closer... and I wish that I was closer to someone I live nearer to as well. It'd be a nice balance to have.

Let's see... I'm growing out my hair... Not cutting it (except for trimming it) until March 7th. I signed an oath with mr. jarred corley. Why I did that, I shall never know.. but I have missed long hair some... I just think I like my short hair more. We shall see I suppose.

I may start exercising. It's a thought I've entertained. That's probably all that will happen with it though. If I had a skateboard, or good roller blades, I might pick up one of those again. I just hate getting all sweaty and gross.

I also miss my twin. I don't think she reads these... at all... but if she did, I'd joke around and call her a dork. And give some comment that I think she's one of the weirdest people I know.. even though that's not really true. I think she's super cool. And I miss her and wish she could come visit...

Speaking of all of that, once I get some money, I'd like to plan a road trip to Nashville to see my brother, NG. I get bored without having him to go hang out with sometimes...

Cleveland is pretty good I guess. I don't think it's my favorite but it'll do for now. I know it's where I'm supposed to be at the moment. Sometimes I just wish I could go ahead and get to the next chapter. I don't even know what that is. Not knowing is probably God's way of keeping me from being overly concerned with the future and helping me not miss the now.

That's good. Brownies are calling my name and I would like to go sit outside.

SHalom. >-

Presence

2008-09-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

*Adam and Eve went to hide from the presence of the Lord after they sinned...
*The people were afraid of the presence of God and told Moses to speak to them instead of God so that they would not die.

*He said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

*Because brought Israel out of Egypt with His presence, with His mighty power.
*The burden against Egypt, behold, the Lord rides on a swift cloud, and will come into Egypt, THE IDOLS OF EGYPT WILL TOTTER AT HIS PRESENCE, and the heart of Egypt will MELT in its midst.

*When my enemies turn back, they shall fall and perish at His presence.
*In His presence is fullness of joy, at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore. The joy of the Lord is our strength.
*Let my vindication come from His presence, let His eyes look on what is upright.
*His presence is my hiding place, my safety.

*As smoke is driven away, so drive them away. As wax melts before the fire let the wicked perish at the His presence.
*The earth shook. Heaven also dropped rain at His presence.
*The mountains melt like wax in His presence.
*When He did awesome things we did not look for, He came down, the mountains shook at His presence.

*"Do you not fear Me," says the Lord, "Will you not tremble at My presence, who have placed the sand as the bound of the sea, by My decree, that though the waters toss to and fro they cannot prevail? And though they roar, they cannot pass over it?"
*Who can stand in His presence when He is angry?

*The fish of the sea, the birds of the heavens, the beasts of the fields, everything that creeps on the earth, and all men who are on the earth shall SHAKE at His presence. The mountains shall be thrown down, the steep places shall fall, and every wall shall fall to the ground!

*...that no flesh should glory in His presence...

*...times of refreshing may come from His presence.

*He is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy!

Dessert by itself... is not good enough.

2008-09-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where to start with this.

I've seen some things the past few weeks that have deeply bothered me.

The are now even more segments to picking and choosing in our Bible buffet-at least, there are more that I've become aware of. I'm sure they have been there previous to my knowledge of them.

These new dishes are found on the dessert bar, and would seem a delightful treat to all. It's not ice cream. It's more nutritious than that. I'd say it could be... a pastry of sorts... perhaps apple pie. Yeah. Apple pie is good. Everyone likes apple pie. [I want to go get one from McDonald's now.]

It's got fruit in it. That's nutritious. But still, if you don't balance the apple pie with meat or some other source of protein, such as beans, it will leave you malnourished if it is all that you take in.

I understand that God is love probably more than a lot of people. But at the same time, I understand that His love is not just a "go do whatever you want" kind of love. It is also not love given without tools of distribution. Humm...

1) We can't say God loves you, and He won't judge your sin. Before you stop reading, allow me to explain. God's love burns so passionately for us. He calls Himself Jealous. The reason He is jealous is because He created us for intimate relationship with Him. He created our attention and our affections for Himself. He longed for people He could be close to... who would choose to love Him. He does not make us love Him. I am sure and certain that if He chose me to love Him that His love would be superficial, as it would be forcing me to love Him. He is a God of risk. Though He knows in His foreknowledge, because He is all-knowing, He let's us choose. He has the chance of being rejected. He has the chance of the ones He created for deep relationship to choose their own desires and follow after their own ideas of love. He has the chance of those ones He loves more than anything to hurt themselves by doing destructive things they may not even see as destructive. And because His love burns so strongly for His created ones, because He desires relationship with them so much, His jealousy burns as a flame in His eye. A flame after the ones He loves... You see, sin is what keeps this jealous God from the love of the ones He created for love. Sin is what brings death to them. Sin is the thing that pulls their affections away from Him and gives them to another lover. And this God, He has done everything that He could do to show His love to us. No one would ever go to the measure He has gone to. And yet He is still rejected.

Sin brings death... God allows our choice, and we have all chosen sin. But we can still make another choice... and God provided our way out of sin and death. He doesn't want anyone in hell. Hell is eternal separation from Him and all of who He is. He created us for Himself, and gave us a way back to Him. But we have to take it... because He is holy. And though He loves us, He can't be anyone other than who He is. He will judge sin. The only way we are clean is through the blood of His Son, who never chose sin, and was killed on behalf of our sin, so that we could be brought back into relationship with this God. He gave us the way... and if we don't choose Him, we will suffer judgment.

God's love is full of grace and full of mercy. But the fullness of His love is shown on the cross. And that is where we must go to receive that grace and mercy.

Because His love is holy, and is true, judgment on sin is also a byproduct of His love.

2) We can't say, "love only" and ignore the things that He has given us to show others His love. Yes, sometimes there are people who get wrapped up in the tools He's given us to spread His love and forget the whole point of what they are doing. But we cannot reject what He has given us because other people have forgotten love. If anything, those who remember love should be the ones to use those things correctly and not throw them aside.

He knows His love and He knows what we need for people to come to it. Otherwise, He wouldn't have given us the tools.

Burning Bush...

2008-09-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

What was the big deal about the burning bush?

It was not normal. It was not what was supposed to happen.

When something burns, it's supposed to be totally consumed unless it's put out...

And the bush kept burning, but it wasn't consumed...

Kind of like a lot of Christians...

They burn, but they're not consumed...

And oh how it is a sight that does not go unnoticed.

Unfortunately everyone sees...

Church, can we wake up? Can we stop being blind leaders of the blind? Can we start being HONEST?

Oh wait... how about this... let's start burning for Jesus like we CLAIM to do... Let's be real with it. Acknowledge our mistakes, and press forward asking God to change us. Press forward toward what the real goal is and the real prize is... Him. Nothing else in this life is going to last.

Let's stop compartmentalizing Jesus in our life and give Him as much as we can instead of as little as we can get away with.

Dream...

2008-08-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'll use random people names to feel like a writer. lol. Even though I'm just kinda jotting down a random weird/cool dream.

Sadie, Jael, Becka, Jessica, Kaitlin, and Susan.

___________________________________________________

Jael finished talking to Sadie about coming to her new house in this big subdivision that was linked to the new movie theater. It was in a nicer part of town, definitely suburban, yet not loud and busy.

Jael walks out of the house and starts walking through the neighborhood to find Sadie and her friends. All being in their early twenties, they could have driven, but chose to go as a group on bikes. No, they were not Mormon. They weren't too far away from the meeting place, it seemed. Bicycles would be efficient.

She sees them coming out of another subdivision and sits in her car waiting on them. (Yes, I know she walked out of the house... how she ended up in the car, I don't know. It's a dream. Give me a break.) They ride up-Sadie, along with four other young ladies: Becka, Jessica, Kaitlin, and Susan. Three of them are cluttered on one bike, while the other two had there own. Sadie was leading the group excursion, as usual. She was always a natural leader, not authoritative, but people followed her because of what they saw in her.

Jael began to start her car so that she could show them how to get to her house, but undoubtedly, Sadie had already began to lead the group ahead. She started the car and drove up to them.

Somehow along the way, Jael didn't know how to get to her own house. She got lost, and they tried to find which road was the right one. They went in circles until Jael found the sign for the new theater, which pointed the way to her street.

They all went to the house and enjoyed time together.

After that, they found an old building that looked like a warehouse. They went in and began to explore. There were people everywhere. In parts of the building, it was very well lit. Only one room seemed to be dim, but it was a room that was necessary to pass through to get to the rest of the building. It had been set up like a giant obstacle course. The building looked like it could have proficiently trained soldiers.

In the dimly lit room, there were slabs of concrete that had to be crossed over, sometimes boulders in between them, sometimes an empty drop down thousands of feet that may as well have been bottomless. There was a man at the last wall, in the corner of the room, shouting encouragements to those who were crossing over each one. He did all he could to see each person make it. Some fell, and others continued on the course.

Sadie and Jael somehow ended up close to each other while the other girls had separated from them in some part of the building. They found themselves scaling a very high wall. They got to the top and found that they had to repel down from this wall. There were people standing at the bottom in lines at each rope that was attached to the wall. Some were drill sergeants, others were your everyday people. There were also ropes coming down from the ceiling.

Jael looked at Sadie. Sadie was indeed a leader, and Jael trusted her. She knew that Sadie knew how to repel. Jael thought to herself, "Man... I have no idea how to do this." She looked at Sadie and said, "We got all this way together. I don't know how to do this. You do. You've got to show me what to do."

Sadie proceeded to tell her, leaving out several details of what it actually took to do it. Jael watched as Sadie started repelling down, pushed off of the wall with her feet harder than before about 15-20 feet from the ground, and grabbed one of the ropes from the ceiling. She swung down, and all of the people who were on the ground were highly impressed with her because no one else had done it that way. Jael followed her.

After that, they were reunited with Becka, and Jessica. Jael went and found a seat in a huge crowd of people while the other 3 went to go get ready. They were now in a huge stadium. All of a sudden over the speakers a loud hearty voice filled the whole stadium. It announced Sadie, Becka, and Jessica's names. They came out to open up the ceremony and sang together. There was a sparkle in Sadie's eye. You could see how happy she was; it exuded from her.

After the ceremony was over, Jael went to find Sadie. Her parents were there. They all met in the huge crowd and could have cared less about who else was there. They smiled and hugged and fellowshipped.

Then I woke up...

It's kind of lame in story form maybe, but it's one of the more vivid dreams I've had I guess. And in typing it out, it helped me to see it was also significant.

Hibachi, Disney, Friends...

2008-08-27T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I'll say that today was a good day.

It got started off right, and that made all the difference... I like days like this. I like mornings like I had.

After job hunting and cooking fish fillets, macaroni, and garlic bread, it was just around 3:00 pm. Still had a good bit of the day left.

Went to Chattanooga with two awesome people.

Came back.

Cleaned the shower and swept up the hair in the bathroom. O.o (Chill. It IS a house of 4 girls after all.)

Went with another awesome person to get some hibachi, rent movies, and go watch them.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas with Mr. Jim Carrey... I hadn't seen it before tonight... it inspired me a lot. There's so much good stuff in that movie. It's now on the list of my favorites. It made me want to be like Cindy Lou Who. A lot... I wish I had the guts that little girl had. Maybe I do somewhere...

The Great Mouse Detective. That stupid bat Fidget and evil creepy rat Ratigan still scare the poop out of me. I never realized how intense that movie is. Laugh at me, and then you go watch it. Hahaha.

Now, I'm going to sleep. I may actually get a decent amount tonight.

All Things Loss

2008-08-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Because I'm not quite ready to take a shower or eat my breakfast...

A year that would seem a waste to any other seems to me a treasure waiting to be found... How far will I be allowed to go? How abandoned will I be allowed to become? But that's what I want. Nothing less that total abandonment. Nothing less than giving up all of who I am to become all of who I am supposed TO BE. And not for me... No, not for me. For Him. For the One who put this vision in me before I was even who I am now... changing... ever changing... Let the fire come and consume me that there would be even more.

I would like to decrease, if anything.

I would like for the truth I know to become such a part of me that it will never be purged out. But the lies, take them all. I want nothing to do with them.

So many others that are waiting to shower... So many others that are waiting to be made clean. So many others who think it CAN wait because they are NOT all THAT dirty... But no... even the smallest amount of dirt makes us unclean. And water is not the answer...

Sacrifice.

So many others that are waiting to eat... because they don't think they are hungry. They have filled themselves with things of no nutritional value. And though there is no immediate effect on their body that can be seen, there will be in the long run if they don't start eating right. Soul food.

Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up on the eighth. Good news for me.

And today as I journey forth on this treasure hunt, I will keep in mind that I should look at my map more than once and make sure to carry along a pick axe and shovel just in case... Because I should always have my tools by my side.

All of my writings seem to be a jungle of analogies and symbolism in which anyone could become lost... ah... oh well. I guess it is because really they may understand more than they think.

The end.

Loud Enough to Wake the Dead?

2008-07-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

We've all heard it... all of us boisterous, noise-making young people. "Why, that's loud enough to wake the dead!"

Well... maybe, that's what God intended noise for in the first place...

Last summer, I was at my g-ma's house and went upstairs to the drums to just play them before the Lord. I went upstairs and started banging on them. Loud, crashing cymbals were blaring. Within a minute of me playing, Uncle Jeff came out of his room yelling because he was in there taking a nap. I had no idea, but the Lord spoke to me after that.

"There is about to be a sound released, and it's going to wake up some people-and there will be some who will NOT like it."

He reminded me of that this morning.

A sound is being released. It's not just in music. It's not just in praise.
It is in a lifestyle.

It is a faith loud enough to raise the dead.

It is a faith alive enough to wake the sleeper.

It is a faith real enough to change a nation.

It's a faith worth being persecuted for...

It's a faith worth being martyred for...

And it's being released... to a people... who know what it's worth.

And it will be unstoppable.

____________________________________________________________

We ARE in the last days.

Some articles for your reading pleasure:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=63076

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=68578

and...

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/07/07/1644189-on-sale-now-in-jerusalem-priestly-garments

The REAL Thing...

2008-07-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

So, the Lord showed me something a few days ago that I feel is something to be shared...

Think about heaven. Think about hell.

And think about salvation.

How many people think they are saved out of their selfishness?

................... wait.

. rewind...............

Let me explain some things:

Most people get saved because they do not want to go to hell. And who would want to go to hell anyway? It's a place of eternal judgment and suffering where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. Pain. No happiness. But why?

What is hell?

And why is hell so bad?

It's eternal separation from the Father. Scripture says that every good and perfect gift comes from God. It says that in His presence is fullness of joy. If we are eternally seperated from Him, w are eternally separated from everything that makes up His character. We are separated from joy. We are separated from goodness. We are separated from lovingkindness and truth and mercy and grace. We are separated from the hands that had spikes brutally beaten into them to allow us to know His goodness and love so that we wouldn't have to be seperated from Him.

Salvation is not about obtaining a "get out of hell free" card. It's about a relationship with a God who created the universe Whose love burns jealously for our affections. He created us for relationship with Him. That is what it is all about. It's about loving Him. It's not about saying we love Him and then living any way we want to. It's not about going to church on Sundays and being moral. It's about being transformed into His likeness through this love...

If hell is seperation from God, salvation through Jesus is th way to be able to connect to God. It is how we can come to know this One. It is how we come into relationship.

If we are "saved" because we don't want to go through the torment of hell, then are we really saved? If one says, "I am a Christian" and proceeds to live a life where they are still separated from God because they choose not to put Him on the throne of their heart and as Lord of their life, what good is that? There is no change there. There is nothing from which they have been saved. Mere words do not save us. An intellectual belief in Jesus is not enough. It is a matter of the heart. If the heart is truly changed, our lives will never be the same.

He is worthy of people's salvation. Salvation is ultimately something that glorifies the Lord. Yes, we benefit from it, but only because we get to know His love and His goodness and be in relationship with Him for the rest of eternity.

There is so much to that...

When will we get it?

When will we stop saying words and ignoring the truth to make ourselves feel better?

Less of Me

2008-07-01T19:22:00.000-07:00

The past week the Lord's been doing some stuff in me...

A week from last Saturday, one of my best friends talked to me about some stuff after the Ramp service that we went to... and it was some stuff that I really needed that I had been trying just to make okay and not deal with. Sometimes when we are delivered from stuff, there can be remains of it that still haunt us. Anyway-after he talked to me he prayed with me about all kinds of stuff and he called out stuff while he was praying that I really needed prayer for and hadn't even really realized I needed. And then the next whole week was AMAZING!

So I started having this amazing time with the Lord and just... wow. And then for about 3 days I started drifting. And then I realized...

I don't want to drift. I don't want to lose it. I want to be closer to Him every day than I was the day before. I want Him to consume my thoughts-all of them. I want to be conscious of Him in everything. I want to meditate on His lovingkindness and get revelations of His love and who He is. I love Him! And I don't want to worry about what people think. I don't want to try to win people over to Him by being tolerant of sin and pretending to ignore it and not standing up for Him. He is worth it! He bled for me. He bled for them!

I want to start living ONLY for my Lord. Not for people... why should I try to give them a watered down version of Jesus so they MIGHT accept Him and accept relationship with Him when I can offer the REAL Jesus to someone who is the Faithful and True one and the one who judges in righteousness!

Man... I don't know. I don't want what I had with the Lord before. I want to far surpass that. I've been thinking lately that I'd like to see some people stop playing games with the Lord-but I want to stop playing games with Him myself. I want to do this thing for real. I want to lay down everything. I want every other lover to be drowned. I want to know Him... in such a deeper way than I ever imagined possible. I just... this is what it's about? You know.

Hell is so awful because it is eternal separation from the Lord. He is the giver of every good thing. He's the giver of love. He's the giver of kindness. He's the giver of life. He's the giver of healing. He gives every good and perfect thing... and separation from Him is separation from all of those things. Relationship with Him brings those things. It's all about right relationship with Him.

You know.. people just don't want to go to hell. But do they even know what hell is? Or why it's so bad? How many people have a selfish motive about salvation instead of wanting to love the Lord?

I just want to love Him and be closer to Him and run after Him in pursuit of His heart... I don't care anymore... that's what I want. That's all I want. I want every other distraction and desire to DIE. I want my heart wholly focused on my Jesus.

I. WANT. IT. BACK. ...NOW!

2008-06-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

I saw that happiness... no I don't speak of my own. I want Jericho's Walls to be smashed into the ground by that pounding sound of thunder...

I want to see the light come and violently push out the forces of darkness and see the face-off between the angelic host and the demonic legions.

Swords in hand and lights flashing in the distance, riders on their horses and the decree set by the King. The fire has gone out, the smoke is rising, the rain is coming. And it begins.

Death and depression swallowed up by the mouth of the Lion after His roar pierces into the darkness so thick that anything else would bounce back off for lack of being able to penetrate it.

And the number 14 and the year 8-that summer reminds me well-reminds me of the oath taken in my heart and by my mouth to the Commander of this army...

Never again, if I could help it.

And the helmet glistening in the mist, is set upon the head. The belt is tightened, and shield locked in place. Sandals secured on feet preparing to run full force... And behind the shield that shall kill the sting of the fiery arrows of the wicked, sits a breastplate gaurding the heart of the warrior whose hands have been taught to make war. These hands of war are steadily holding the sword and shield, ready to obtain the long awaited victory.

Lightening stretches from the sky to the ground below that is cracked from lack of water. The warrior stands strong and stretches forth a hand from which that same lightening is loosed, releasing a clap of thunder that serves as a reminder of the power of the King's decree.

There is a boldness and determination in the atmosphere. Nothing can stop this light, this light that travels faster than any other force created. It will never quit. It will never give up. It will always prevail.

Now the rain which was only a mist becomes a heavy sheet of water. The cracked ground is just beginning to recieve its moisture.

Off into battle they march...

Those things which were shall be again, and those things that are shall perish.

Ramblings and the Like...

2008-06-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

...and do people even listen to words?

I just don't get why I can't seem to feel like I can be vulnerable to very many when I value vulnerability so much...

Is it bad that I just want to get away for a bit? Bad that I just want to take a break? Bad that I just need time to sort out all of this knowledge that's been crammed into my mind and caused an overload that would cause me to spontaneously combust if given a chance to become any more overwhelming? I'm tired of hearing what everyone else thinks and not making decisions for my own life...

And I'm tired of feeling like I have to push all the time. I'd rather just sit and listen and be able to breath again for a bit instead of feeling like I have to live up to all the expectations of what I should be rather than what I am. I fear that the lack of vulnerability is due to fear of judgment... and fearing judgment from who? Certainly not the One I should be fearing judgment from. Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Fear of man is a snare and a trap.

Yeah-I DO want to grow. And, strangely enough, I DO want people who will push me. But I want them to let me soak everything in too. Because if I gain any more knowledge without understanding, it will be worthless.

I learn by experience. I remember when I learn by experience. I understand when I learn by experience.

I just want to stop and start over fresh. From a pure heart.

I want to be a music major, man! I want to follow my dreams and do what I'm passionate about and use the gifts I've been given for the reason I was given them in the first place!

I'm sitting in a room full of books... and I'm mad at them right now.

Books.

................................

Life.

There are some books that I really like. But at this point in time, I'm sure there's only one book I ever needed in the first place, and that's because it's more than just another book to give me useless knowledge and growing confusion. It's a book that life springs up out of.

I want... to live life.

I want to violently break out of this box.

But yet...

I just need some rest.

Decisions, Desicions...

2008-06-12T19:48:00.001-07:00

If you think you've already got everything figured out, then you'll never grow, and you'll possibly miss what is there for you...

I don't want to miss it.

But it's hard realizing that sometimes you don't know what you thought you knew.

And equally as hard realizing you knew stuff you never thought you did.

_________________________________________________________

I miss..................

some people...

BAD.

Music...

2008-06-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

I've been noticing something lately...

There is something really really powerful about music.

It releases something into the atmosphere, even when it is not accompanied by words.

Something I don't understand-but the sound waves that go out... they carry more than just what I can hear...

The Israelites used music and singing in war. David played the harp to make an evil spirit leave Saul. There was an instance where Elisha called a harpist before he prophesied. All through the Psalms, it talks about stuff like praising the LORD with the lyre and flute and cymbals and on and on. It's in heaven. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven.

Not only does it minister to the Lord, but it is also a weapon of warfare (on the side of Light AND darkness- yet Light always prevails over darkness).

There is so much that it entails...

So much more than we understand...

Dreams and Healing and Little Kids and Stuff. =)

2008-06-09T21:11:00.001-07:00

Just want to share some of what's been going on. =)

So the first Sunday of this month, after communion, Candace (the lady who has been working with the kids at church) and I took the kids out to the playground. We were walking in afterward, and Candace twisted her ankle. I asked her if I could pray with her, and she said she'd probably be ok when she got home. I told her we could still just go ahead and pray, and we could get the kids to pray too. We walked up to the door where they were lined up, and I told them to come over there. They came. I told them that Mrs. Candace had twisted her ankle and we were going to pray for her. They were all like, "ok!" So I told them to come over to her and put their hands on her ankle, and prayed a really simple prayer and asked the kids if they believed Jesus would heal it, and of course, they said yes like I was stupid for asking them that. =) And so we finished praying, and Candace's response was, "WOW... uhm... the stinging stopped! It really doesn't hurt anymore!"

Yeppppp. That's the Lord for you. He's good like that.

The kids have been talking about prophets. I thought it'd be cool to teach them about some different random miracles and encounters with the Lord that the prophets had. The other morning, I talked to them about the vision that Isaiah had (chapter 6). To try to teach them what a vision was, I opened up by asking them about dreams. I asked them if any of them had any dreams they wanted to share. Two of the kids had dreams that God spoke to them. One said that He said He loved him. The other girl, who is really shy and waited until after class to tell me, said He said that He would always be with her and never leave her.

Yeppppp. Again...

I love seeing the Lord do His stuff. I love that He's who He says He is. I love that He can't be kept in a box...

And I'm glad He loves me.

And I'm also glad that He broke those shackles off of me!

K. That's good for now.

Fullness of Joy... ?

2008-06-08T20:32:00.001-07:00

I love those times when I just yearn for the Lord... it's seemed lately like they haven't been as frequent, but this week has been one of those times. I realized that I got kind of religious and complacent and I noticed that my passion to know His heart had kind of dwindled down... It had become about doing stuff for Him and learning what the Word says instead of sitting in His presence and knowing who He is. And I guess these times come and go, and we have to reevaluate and refocus during them. Tonight though, has been amazing.

It wouldn't really seem like anything that special to someone else I guess. It would probably have just seemed kind of odd for someone had they of been looking on... but I asked Him to come fill the room up with His presence, and just worshiped. It was great. It only made sense why I had been missing it. It was just... He is just... wow.

Then I was reading through Psalms-I absolutely love the Psalms; they are the best ever-and I saw a verse that said, "In Your presence is fullness of joy..." Yep. Pretty much right on. I don't think that could be any more accurate.

Anyway, all that just to say, the Lord is so amazing, I wish I could just sit there forever... =)

elpoep laiceps

2008-06-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

I don't think that many, if any, have discovered this yet... so before they do, I want to have some fun with it... haha.

There are a whole lot of people who are special to me, and then there's a small handful that absolutely mean the world to me that I'd do anything for... So this post is for them (minus mom and meemaw, because they won't read it anyway). No particular order.

**Midnight hiking is scary at it's best. It might be worth it once the sun comes up, but... you know... as long as I've got that flashlight... You are one of my best friends. I'm so glad too. You are awesome! I've seen like a new you over the past year. You have grown an incredible amount. Your zeal for the Lord inspires me. Your music makes me want to be better at it. I'm sorry that with death of "the four" that our friendship kind of let up with it... but I'm glad that we're able to just pick up where was left off. I love it when we get to have our talks... and I'd probably rather hang out with you than do a lot of other things. It's great how you share your heart, whether it's in a blog or talking. You're one of the coolest people I know, and I can't wait to see what all God's got in store for you. Thank you for praying with me and sharing things He is doing. **

**You are my sis, and green is your LEAST favorite color, unlike all of my other friends who seem to really like green....... Purple is a great color though, and Ariel is alright too I suppose. I think over the past couple of years our friendship's seen a lot. It's seen God, it's seen hell, it's seen all kinds of stuff in between. At times, I was a real jerk to you, and I know you know why, but I still shouldn't have been a jerk like I was. You're one of the best people I know, and God's used you to teach me a lot... A lot of the really valuable things at that... I'm so glad that you're my friend. And I'm so proud of all the stuff you've accomplished lately. You're one of my heroes. Seriously. I can't wait to see you again! I miss you, and I'm glad that if a branch is cut back it grows out new good stuff-better than before, what it was originally supposed to be. I would do anything for you if you needed it. I want you to know I'm not going anywhere. Oh, and I still need a tag to add to the collection... It's down to only dad's, but that's a story for later... ugh. You'll get your painting sometime too.. haha**

**You... you are also my sis. Plus, you also like purple. Haha. And no matter what, I will always be beside you in spirit. I know I've said there's no getting rid of me... well, I mean that! I'd do just about anything for you. I don't really know why that is, but I would. It's safe to say that I've seen both sides... but I still think you're really one of the coolest people I know. There's so much too you. Yeah, you get bored and stuff a lot, but that doesn't take away from who you are. You have so much talent, a love for people, and that thing somewhere down in there that keeps stirring up in you from time to time that's going to bust out one day... I believe in you. Even if you are on your butt... I have no doubts that you're going to arise. You are gonna make it. I believe it! You have 2 rings, you fit the word. One problem I have with you though... you are a stumbling block to me in causing me to show favoritism... haha. =) I just wish you knew some of the awesome things coming... And you will in time... But I can't wait. You're gonna FAR surpass me. And, I can't wait for that either!**

**If it wasn't for you, I don't know what would be going on right now. You guys were obedient to the Lord and just asked if I wanted to go. That was SO SO SO significant in my life and my relationship with the Lord from then on out. I want you to know I'm starting to cry typing this-since you can't walk in my room and catch me.... and laugh at me... =P. But seriously... You were my friend when I didn't have any others because I was wrapped up in my junk. You were there when I needed you most. And I know that we disagree sometimes and we get too much of each other at other times... but I'm so glad we're a team... I honestly think we SHOULD get dang jerseys. It seems appropriate. I'm glad the Lord put you in my life. Part of me can't wait for August to get here. We're gonna have a blast! You are also my sister... like... for real to the point of us acting like it. =) And being in the same house. Thank you for calling me out at times when I've needed it and helping me to grow up some. It's not an easy job... You may not do follow up with a lot of people, but you've stuck with me. Thank you.**

**Speaking of correction... I want you to know that I helped correct Uncle Jeff's English paper today and I realized why you have so much fun doing what you do. I felt really smart. =) hahaha. We've gotten a lot closer over the past couple of months, and I think that's really cool. Your heart for the Lord, and your ability to pray really inspire me. I admire that. I think that you're a very wise person. Not only that, but you are gifted in so many other areas. Thank you for helping hold me accountable, and for being vulnerable with me about stuff. I really value your friendship.**

**Maybe more of my friends like purple than green. I don't know. You are so cool. I love being around you and acting crazy and talking about bathroom stuff... hahaha! I have the feeling you may end up reading all of my books... and I'm excited about that! I've watched you grow like crazy this year. The opportunity to pray with you about different stuff at different times and to see you pray with other people and hear about you praying with other people... man... you are like... right on all the time. Thank you for standing with me on that one thing that you know is so important to me... I'm glad you also have that burden on your heart. And I'm glad we get to talk about stuff... You're great! And I'm glad you're so scene.. hahahah**

Again... and again...when will it end?

2008-06-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

"For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again..."

"Do not rejoice over me my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me."

I just want to encourage you, if you're struggling with something and you've "fallen seven times". Seven times isn't a literal number there as far as I know. But the number seven can represent completeness.

If you have been struggling, trying to fight through something to the other side, but have fallen over and over again and are tired of trying because you feel like you've fallen completely as much as possible-you can get up again. Keep getting up. If you fall again, get up again. But don't ever give up on getting back up and trying...

I once heard someone say, "The fact that you are struggling with this means you're fighting it. If you weren't struggling with it and stopped fighting it, then there would be a big problem."

Inside, Outside, Upside Down...

2008-06-03T11:17:00.001-07:00

The people that many people believe are "blind" are the people who can actually see God when He shows up.

The ones that seem to be the least likely to be used, are the ones who are used most.

In the Kingdom, you can only keep what you're willing to give away.

God uses the simple things to confound the wise...

The first shall be last and the last shall be first...

Moses talked to God face-to-face and wasn't able to take Israel into the promised land. Joshua who may have seemed less important to many was the one who He used to take His people into a place Moses couldn't take them.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. The fear of man is a snare and a trap.

I like people who know they aren't perfect...

Because usually their hearts are not hardened in the same manner as people who think they are...

We're supposed to look like Jesus. He is our model... Do you know what He looks like NOW? He's not hanging on the cross crushed and broken anymore...

So not everyone who will be prayed for will be healed on the spot. But with the faith for healing and to go pray over people, more will be healed than if no action had of been taken at all. And God will get glory for those things that He wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Show His love unconditionally. People don't have to be Christians to recieve love from God. That's proposterous. It's His kindness that leads us to repentance anyway. We all need love. We need His love. Stop looking at people as saved or unsaved to figure out how you are going to respond to them. Listen and see what the Father is doing, and say and do it always. Do not limit the Limitless One.

If we all only realized what we were capable of in Him and just let it out... It would change the world.

Misty Edwards loves the Lord and seeks Him. It is obvious that He shows her stuff. I think she is really awesome.

I want this sound inside of me to get the hell out... (think about that one).

I want it to be released. I want to find it, just like I want to find everything else that can be found... I want it to ring out into the atmosphere and for those little sound waves to be used as an unseen weapon by the hand of the One who sings over His creation. I want it to be like lightening released violently into the darkness exposing what is around it. It's. all. crammed. up. and. I. want. it. to. GET. OUT. NOW!!!!!!!!!

I have the feeling that the thoughts of Redding may soon be passing if I continue pursuing...

I refuse to remain quiet.

There's more on the inside than the sound... much much much more. And there's much more that is much more important.

Power not words...

I feel this blog suits my ADD and has accomplished its task. It feels good just to write stuff again.